Divine Deception —Swan Song

Paper and plastic bags are stuffed in the corners. One of them holds a purple and white prom dress. Another a pair of matching heels with pointy toes. Cosmetics, hair extensions and a lot of hair spray. These are the things that fill my trunk along with the receipt of the hundreds of dollars that have left my bank account. I have just returned from the mall with my mother after she urged me so hard to forget about how Keith dumped my sorry butt and embarrassed me in front of the whole school, all the while being on the day I was brought into this world. And to make it even better, my mother told me that she wasn’t buying me the dress. That I had more than enough in my bank account to pay it all off. This birthday keeps getting better. “I have something more important to give you for your birthday,” she had said earlier. I can’t say what it is. This morning she bought me my first car, a sweet ride. What else could she possibly give a seventeen-year-old girl?

She tells me to grab a parking space at the local Bistro. She knows how much I love eating here, though I am skeptical when she says that she’ll be paying, her treat. I park anyway and follow her to a table on the patio. Usually we eat inside, but it’s really warm tonight and, oh all right, we aren’t allowed inside because we aren’t dressed formally enough. When I want to argue with our server, my mother gives me a glare that stops me in my tracks. We place our orders.

It’s a while before our meals arrive. We don’t speak during that time other than small talk. While I can’t say my conversational skills are put to good use, to say my mother is all there would be a complete lie. She’s been absent since we left the house. I mean, she’s here, but she’s not all there if you get what I mean. Ever since she met Alicia there’s something in her eyes I can’t quite put my finger on.

We eat our meals in silence for a moment. Maybe “meals” is too much of a word for it. My mother has ordered a hamburger that, as she puts it, tastes like it just came out of the freezer. I want to suggest that she send the food back, yet I know she won’t. She never does. She just gives me that look and explains like she always does that there are more important things to do than make somebody else’s life miserable. So I don’t say anything. I’ve ordered myself a special cake and it isn’t half bad. I also ate a lot of junk food back when I was listening to Alicia fix that darn essay fifteen times so eating a proper meal really isn’t in my realm of things to do today.

When I look over at her, I am startled by my mother staring at me. Her inquisitive eyes tracing my face. Her fingers drumming her chin as if she’s trying to consider what she wants to say. When I ask her if something is wrong, she shakes her head and flattens the creases in her trousers, her fingers going to her burger immediately afterward, picking at the food she has to use to eat. Even if she says nothing is wrong, I know something is. I do the same kind of things when something is bothering me. “What is it?”

“It’s your present,” she says quietly.

My eyes widen. My car. She has to be talking about my car. I haven’t done anything wrong with it. I didn’t skip, just like she asked me not to. I even drove that annoying Alicia home when I didn’t even have to. Maybe my mother is taking it back. Can’t afford it, even if that is crazy. We can afford it. We can afford anything because that is who we are. My father left us will funds coming out the ying-yang and there is no way my car could have costed my mother that much.

“Your car was a physical gift and there is something else I want to give you.” Something else? That must mean that I get to keep the car. It has to. “There are some things that can’t be purchased and I want you to know that, Delilah.”

“I know.”

“No,” she says firmly. “I mean it. Some things money can’t buy, yet they are the most precious things in the world.”

“Oh boy,” I mutter and lean back in my seat. “We’re not honestly having that talk are we? I mean, mom, we’re in public!”

She smirks. “No, not that talk.”

I sigh inwardly. Good. “Then what is it,” I ask her. “You’ve been acting really weird ever since I introduced you to Alicia.”

“That’s precisely it. I hadn’t expected you two to meet, especially when your sister said she’d moved to a different town.”

My eyebrows narrow in confusion. I know who she’s talking about when she refers to my sister. She’s talking about Holly, though I haven’t spoken with her for years. Like my mother said, the last time they had spoken was when she’d told them that she was taking the family and leaving town. My mother and Holly never had a close relationship. The most they’ve spoken since I’ve been around is one word sentences while trying to keep an argument from breaking out. They’ve had a difficult relationship to say the least. But I don’t see what Alicia has to do with any of it.

“Alicia is your sister,” my mother says as if reading my thoughts.

I roll my eyes. “Okay, I know I’ve been in a bit of a bummer mood today, and ha-ha jokes on me, but you couldn’t have tried a bit harder on a prank? Mom, you don’t got it anymore.” I chuckle. There’s not one line of humour on her face, though.

“I’m serious, Delilah. Alicia is your sister and she’s been living with Holly for years now.”

“All right, you’re going to run with this story.” I go back to picking at my cake. “Keep going, let’s see how far you get.”

“This isn’t a joke, Delilah. This is the truth and I want you to know it.” She must know that I am not going to fall for it, but she keeps going anyway. “I have kept things from you for a long time and I think now is a good time for you to know your past. And the first thing you need to know is that you’re adopted.”

A sprinkle hits the back of my throat as I gasp. I choke and spit it back onto the plate. “Okay, joke time’s over. Now you’re just getting ridiculous. To say that I’m adopted… It’s not funny anymore.”

“Darling, it’s not supposed to be funny and for you to understand, I need to go back. Back before you were born.” She pauses. “Before you were born, I had a daughter. Your father and I were slowly tearing apart and for some silly reason we believed that a child would stitch us back up. Her name was Alicia.”

“Mom, this is complete hogwash–“

“Let me finish,” she says with a raise of her hand that cuts me off. “Alicia was taken away from us after a woman turned our home upside down. Holly, thankfully, took custody of Alicia and she’s been living with them ever since. Delilah, your story is no different. You were taken from your parents after your father was killed and your mother was taken away.”

“You’re serious,” I say after my jaw drops. My mind returns me to my dinner with Alicia the other day. When I believed she told me some made up story just to have dinner with me. It can’t be true. Alicia’s voice is in my head.

[i]”Mr. Alto wasn’t much different. He’d had a lovely affair with some other chick who ended up killing him.”[/i]

I try to keep my calm. I take deep breathes in and out as my mother continues on with the story about how she’s not my biological mother, yet Nick Alto was my real father. My nails bite the under side of my chair to the point where I feel one break. I bring it up and start ripping the jagged edge of the nail until I pull the whole thing off.

“Your mother came into our lives and took everything. It started at our Halloween party and blew apart from there. She had Alicia taken from me, she seduced your father and married him. You were theirs and I was just there, like a nanny. Stubborn like a mule.”

It’s a good thing we decided on staying outside because even here feels too confined. “W-who is my mother?”

Before the words can even leave her mouth, I know what they are. “Your biological mother is Sadie Lawrence.”

The wave of confirmation almost knocks me off my chair. “No, no, no,” I mumble as I stare into the eyes of the woman in front of me. I am waiting, impatiently, for her to say surprise, or gotcha or anything that proves this is some sick game of hers. But all I see is a woman with tears in her eyes. Her hurt has been uncovered and it breaks something inside of me. “I’m not a child of them. My father and the nanny–“

“She was never the nanny, Delilah,” she corrects me. “I just told you that in hopes that you would never have to hear this.”

“Then why are you telling me this?” I am yelling now and I don’t care. I don’t care that I am making a scene or that people are around and from the look on my mother’s face, she doesn’t care either.

“I am telling you this because you deserve to know. I have played this game for a long time, Delilah, and I have hurt a lot of people, but what I’ve learned is that the only people who get hurt are the players.” She takes a deep breath. “I don’t want to play anymore, and you want to know why? Because everything has changed. You came into my life when your mother went to prison and you changed everything. I hated your mother for a long time, but after seeing you and Alicia sitting at the table today it made me realize differently. My end with your father was inevitable and I just wanted somebody to blame, to point a finger at. Sadie’s choices weren’t right, but I have to forgive her, because if it wasn’t for her, you and I would never have been joined. I would never have been happy. I would have just continued to hurt myself and others.”

“I know this is a lot, Delilah, and I am so sorry for all of it.” She clears her throat and puts a hand on top of mine. “Just know, while we may not be related by blood, you are and always will be my daughter.”

We’re still family if we aren’t related? We are the only people in the Alto family who aren’t related by blood and even if we used to be the closest, we are the farthest thing when real family is concerned.

“I know your father loved you, and as much as I don’t want to say it, I know Sadie loves you too.”

I can’t take anymore of this. I push my chair away from the table and get to my feet. “This is complete bull,” I hiss. She wants to talk about hatred? Let’s talk about betrayal. I can’t figure out if I am more upset regarding Sadie Lawrence, the town hussy who killed my father, being my mother or that Vita Alto, the woman in front of me, actually thought telling me all of this would be any good. I’m still waiting for the end of the joke, that it was all some prank, but after waiting this long, I realize the punchline is never coming. “I’m going home.”

I storm off to my car and hope in. As I turn the ignition, I see Vita running toward me. “Delilah, honey, wait!” she calls. I don’t listen. I’ve listened to her for fifteen years while my real mother hung out in some jail cell.

Fifteen years! Fifteen years she’s lied to me and just because she say me and Alicia sitting together doing homework did she decide to step it up and tell me the truth. I may have been able to take the part about being adopted, but to say that I am the cursed child of Nick Alto and Sadie Lawrence… I sink down into my seat and apply more gas to the pedal. One thing after another today. First Keith and now this! I just want to get home and get into bed. Forget about prom. Forget about all of it! And definitely forget about Vita. She’s dead to me and I never want to speak to her again.